Monday 16 July 2012

Nectar of Life


Newton’s Laws of Motion form the basis of classical mechanics, the third can be summarised as:

When two bodies interact by exerting force on each other, these action and reaction forces are equal in magnitude, but opposite in direction.

If we translate this to yoga, it is also so for forces within the body.  We are all very aware of our “fight or flight” system – adrenaline & cortisol released into the blood stream divert energy from other functions (eg digestion) to the limbs for readiness to run or protect ourselves, heart rate & blood pressure increase.  We either fight, run or occasionally freeze.  In the modern world, the system that mobilised our ancestors when sabre tooth cats came prowling is now often triggered by stress.

Many of us as much less aware of the calm & connect system of the body.  It is closely connected with the hormone oxytocin – the “love hormone”.  It is most commonly associated with sexual love, childbirth and breastfeeding.  It is not peculiar to women, although it plays a vital role in mothering, and researchers are now beginning to identify its central role in the calm & connect system.  The calm & connection system is at play when we feel that warm, drowsy glow after a good meal in pleasant company, or when we feel bathed & nourished by the sun as we lie on a soft sandy beach. 

Kerstin Uvnäs Moberg tells us in her book ‘The Oxytocin Factor’:

"We need calm and connection not only to avoid illness, but also to enjoy life, to feel curious, optimistic, creative..." and that the system “…is associated with trust and curiosity instead of fear, and with friendliness instead of anger...When peace and calm prevail, we let our defenses down and instead become sensitive, open, and interested in others around us. Instead of tapping the internal ‘power drink,’ our bodies offer a ready-made healing nectar. Under its inuence, we see the world and our fellow humans in a positive light; we grow, we heal.” 

One way to nurture your calm and connection system is to take part in a family or group activity, making yoga an ideal way to nurture this system. 

The term nectar is interesting as many yoga scriptures and texts refer to amrita.  Amrita, also known as soma, is described in Georg Feuerstein’s ‘Shambhala Encyclopedia of Yoga’ as the nectar that is “of brilliant reddish-white and is exquisitely bliss-inducing”.  It is said to flow from the hidden lunar centre in the crown chakra.  The Hatha Yoga Pradipika tells us that when the body is flooded with this ambrosia, it will gift strength, vigour, and a beautiful body.  Perhaps the sages simply recognised that making time to be calm and to connect are essential for both physical and mental health.
  
The following practices are designed to give you time to feel calm and to connect first with your breath and your body, and if in a group setting, the chanting is a way to widen that connection into a community.  Off the mat and outside the classroom, connection is achieved by the impact on those around you as they respond to your calmness, your openness and your heartfelt interest in them when you can see their positives clearly.

Relaxation for a Calm Heart
Adapted from ‘The Meditator’s Handbook’ by David Fontana
Settle into Savasana, surrendering your body to gravity & the Earth.  Allow your mind to rest in your breath, becoming aware of your natural breathing rhythm…simply watch your inhalation and your exhalation.  As we observe the breath, we usually find it begins to naturally slow & deepen and settle into a more even flow.  Gently begin to slow and deepen your breathing, until you are breathing as slow, deep and rhythmically as feels comfortable for you right now.  With each inward breath, softly bring awareness to your heart centre in the middle of your chest, and with your outward breath begin to silently chant “Om”.  Feel Om ripple outwards from the heart centre, creating an ever widening circle of stillness, peace, calm.  You may like to visualise a drop of nectar falling into a lake, the ripples moving outward.  Or you may prefer to imagine the vibrations of a gong carrying Om through your body.  You can continue this practice as long as you wish.  When you are ready, release Om, and allow your breath to settle back into its own rhythm.  Take a few moments to stretch and make small movements, sigh or yawn, before rolling to one side and taking a few more breaths, feeling fully aware once more of occupying your body, before bring yourself up to sitting.  You might like to complete by bring your hands to prayer position at your heart centre and saying, silently or out loud, “Om shanti…shanti…shanti”.

Moon Salutation - Soma Mandala Namaskar
Watch a video here: Moon Shine with Shiva Rea

Chandra Bhedana Pranayama
In Yoga, our right nostril is energetically associated with our body's heating energy and action, symbolized by the "Sun" and the syllable HA, our left nostril with our body's cooling energy and calm, symbolized by the "Moon" and the syllable THA.
In the average person these energies are typically in conflict, which leads to disquiet and disease. The goal of traditional Hatha Yoga is to integrate and harmonize HA and THA for happiness and health. The purpose of this breath then is to create balance by “cooling” a warm, overactive body-mind (similarly if you reverse the practice & work with the right nostril, it becomes Surya Bhedana – Sun Piercing – and acts to warm & energise – caution: you must not practice both breaths on the same day).
Sit in a comfortable asana and make Mrigi Mudra. For Surya Bhedana block your right nostril and inhale through your left. Then close the left and exhale through the right. Continue in this manner, inhale left, exhale right, for 1 to 3 minutes.

Close your practice by chanting Om with each out breath – you can hold your hands in prayer position at the heart or create a bowl with your hands & imagine it gradually filling & overflowing with abundant, shining soma.

Monday 2 July 2012

Nakedness

What is it that people find so upsetting about nakedness? 


This weekend I had the pleasure of camping with about 50 other family groups at our annual gathering of friends.  The festival atmosphere & the freedom it gifts our children & teenagers are precious to us all.  The children charge about in wild abandon; there are marshmallows to be toasted once they've helped to build the fire; music to be heard & felt & danced to; sticks to collect & wooded copses to be explored.  And for some of the littlest people in our group, there is the chance to be completely naked, or just simply pants or nappy free for a while.  This weekend, I heard one young teenager commment on the "disgusting"ness of a 20 month old who was apparently "always naked".  Then we had a cluster of boys laughing at our own boys (almost 3 and just over 5) who were naked inside our tent.  I get that kids are easily embarrassed, that bodies are strange & interesting & a little bit rude...But disgusting?


And then a friend went to school today for her son's show & tell, with her baby as the subject.  She was asked not to say breasts or breastfeeding, and not to answer the question where do babies come from.


It got me thinking.  These kids are not wrong, they are young people learning their way.  But our generation owes them - we need to help them learn respect for themselves, for the wonder of the human body & for other people.  We need to guide them through the confusion of 24 hour media that sexualises adults and children indiscriminately and shames us if we are not air-brush perfect.  We owe them love and respect for their bodies.  Call breasts breasts, call a penis a penis, call a vagina a vagina.  These are not dirty words.  They are not body parts to hide and be ashamed about.  We should be able to know that nudity and private areas of the body can be loved, appreciated...even adored.  We just need to help our children learn when it is appropriate to display them.  But they should never be ashamed of their bodies, their bodily functions, and nor should they be frightened or embarrassed by the nudity and bodily-ness of others.


Nakedness scares us because it can reveal so much more than our lumps & bumps.  These children don't know that yet but they are beginning to pick up on the fears of the adults in their lives.  We are bombarded by overtly sexual imagery.  Constantly reminded of the insidious dangers of the internet.  Subjected to photoshopped perfection at every turn.  Image is everything.  The human body needs to be disguised, reshaped, hidden, improved.  We have become disconnected from our bodies.  


Nakedness is about innocence & freedom and exposure of skin reminds us how much we hide.  


Nakedness is about truth & honesty.  Clothes, make-up, hairstyles.  It's all to create an image that we want to convey our "truth", the "me" that we want to be.  Strip it away and we are terrified of revealing the real "me".  


Nakedness is about fearlessness and acceptance.  How we clothe it so often reflects the depth of our fear and disengagement from our truth.  Or we overcompensate and reveal what is pure & sacred if we only save it for those who deserve to share in our truth.


If I sound confused, I am.  I'm doing plenty of soul-searching at the moment; struggling to expose my truth and I have to see it in all its glory myself before I can bare it to the world.  But realising that nakedness goes beyond a lack of clothing has helped me to realise at least that I want my children to be raised naked.


I want them to bare their all so that they can be accepted for who they, how they are, every moment of every day.  They will know that I love them unconditionally because they will know who they are and so will I.  


There will be no hiding.  Their flesh and bones barely disguise the shining light of their pure souls.  They radiate love.  They ooze raw energy.  And I sincerely hope they always will.  Naked, truthful to themselves and other people.  I want their nakedness to be full frontal and unashamed.  


What they wear doesn't matter; how they feel, how present they are, that matters.  That they feel and know I love them matters.  That they feel and know they are perfect as they are right now, here, in this moment.  I don't always have to love everything they do or say or wear.  No one does.  I will love them, right now, always and forever and so they will rejoice in their "me-ness" and I hope flaunt their nakedness for all to see.


May all our children be naked!

Wednesday 25 April 2012

Ready to receive...

As ever, life/family/work/play/well-being are jostling for top position on my list of things to do & improve.  But I have met some inspiring & supportive people in recent weeks.  And they have brought the gift of time to me.  


I was searching, for lots of answers but mostly I was searching for time.  It seems in short supply, never more so when you can measure it in the inches your children grow, their new words, their changing play & preferences.  Yesterday, someone on the radio mentioned that the year is more than a quarter gone already, and I lamented the fleeting nature of time and the perceived loss of my children's childhoods as greedy time eats away the precious moments in which I can play with them or watch them at play, see them grow, listen to their sleepy breathing, kiss their soft cheeks as I bless them before I sleep.  


And yet, with a small melancholy, I realised that this is what being a mother is - watching time pass as the souls you welcomed into the world grow and change and find their own passage through time.  So I have accepted it.  I cannot make more time.  I can choose how to spend the precious moments of my children's lives.  I can choose to play or watch, to get involved or simply be aware of how they pass their time.  Sometimes of course,  I may want to play, but they may have other intentions, and then it is my role to step back, to watch & wait and be ready with open arms to receive their love, or their distress.  Comfort offered is time spent well. 


My children are ready to receive, present - they live each day expectantly.  Children know that each day brings its own gifts.  Adventures can be great, but they can also be small.  Trips to the pet shop for aquatic frog & tadpole food (are there non-aquatic frogs & tadpoles?).  Run, run, running down the road.  Reading a new book together.  Children feel the slow passage of time (How many sleeps until summer Mama?) so they happily accept what the day brings.   I can remember those days that stretched out in front of my young self, time passing so slowly.  


Now, I want to slow time again.  To linger over moments spent watching tadpoles in our tiny pond.  To luxuriate in the cosy snugness of my children's sleepy cuddles at bedtime.  To feel the rise & fall of their bodies in deep sleep breathing next to me in our family bed.  


Of course I also want more "me" time.  So with some prompting from new acquaintances I have resolved to do the impossible and make more time.  I keep a diary & actually write appointments down.  It takes a few minutes but it means I don't spend hours trying to juggle over-commitment.  It means that I won't ever book myself to be at three events that end & start within minutes of each other on the same day again.  


I have learned to say no when my head & heart scream "Please no more! I want to be with my children"


And I have discovered that I suddenly have the time to write in that journal I always intended to keep.  And still, I can keep my house (almost) tidy, have clean washing, cook for my family, and plan to do things that will feel like "me" time too.  


It turns out that now I have decided to be ready to receive it, time has gifted me many extra minutes in the day.  I'm still not quite sure how many I have or how slowly or speedily they will melt away, I expect I never will be.  


I am happy to know that in being ready to do a little less of this, and a lot more of that, I have found at least a little of what I was searching for.  And time will bring its own gifts.  I will have the time to search for the other answers that remain elusive.


And you know, when I remember to take a deep breath and tell myself I have all the time in the world, I really do.

Tuesday 20 March 2012

Shadows

There are shadow sides to all the facets of our personalities. We can't hide from them.  That tidbit of gossip you can't help but share about another friend, the slight hint of sibling rivalry, vague resentment of your partner's apparent freedom...

There are shadows to emotion too. I offer yoga for joyful motherhood. Am I fraud then if I do not experience constant blissful joy each moment of the day?

Simply, no.  As a mother, I have experienced exhaustion, desperation, fear, anxiety and post natal depression.  I still find it hard to acknowledge any PND but there it is, my shadow. It lurks even now, that sad voice, that lonely voice, that inner child crying quietly in the hope that someone will notice.  I notice, I hear that voice.

...sometimes it needs me to pause, to listen, to reassess.  Sometimes, it needs a big hug, I need a big hug.  Or a kind smile, a word of reassurance here & there.

Occasionally it needs a little more.  And then I know where to look for help.  My breath, my yoga, fresh air. Play more with my children. Snuggle more with my husband.  Talk to someone.  I can't turn my back, the crying is insistent and it will get louder, slowly but surely.

Does it prevent me from experiencing joyful motherhood? It brings clouds, sometimes small ones that obscure the sun for just a moment.  Other days, my overcast sky is heavy with dark rainclouds, thunder imminent...And yet, a crack in the cloud...a bright ray of sunshine to pierce the most solid looking cumulus nimbus!  A smile, a "tuddle & tiss mummy", a new word or a shared book, my children hugging each other...

Motherhood is many things - challenging, tiring, inspiring, and most of all it is joyful...Someone once said that without tears, our soul cannot know a rainbow.

Bright sunshine casts dark shadows.

My heart is full of big fat splosh in the puddle tears...and bursts of sunshine that lift the darkest shadow...My children bring me great joy even in the moments I feel most lost as a mother.

And for me, yoga reminds me to look for that joy on the days when I am tempted to join my inner child & sob in the shadows, it calls me to breathe, take the next step and let my children once more lift my heart & my spirit...Let the sun shine!

Wednesday 7 March 2012

Presence

School run, playgroup, breastfeeding protest, lunch, meet friends, school run, park, washing, dinner, plasticine play, bedtime, plan yoga lessons, clean kitchen, catch up emails....

The never ending list of things to do,  it grows & grows, sometimes one thing gets ticked off, but 3 more rush in to fill the space...Is there ever a moment of stillness? Will my mind ever completely settle to one task without planning ahead or recalling past disasters?

A micro-practice then to slow me down, quiet my chattering mind, bring me back to cooking...

Presence...

Breathe...Inhale...Exhale...stay in the gaps, hold them, feel their peace, brief stillness in the body, rest the mind there...Inhale...Exhale...

Breathe...I am peeling garlic...Breathe...I am chopping garlic...Breathe...I am melting butter...Breathe....

And onwards...Be mindful, be present, simple narrative statements...I am thinking of writing this in my blog later, noted, now back to stirring the lentils....Breathe...I am measuring the rice...Breathe...I am rinsing the rice....

Try it - be mindful, notice your thoughts but don't follow them...and remember to breathe...you have all the time in the world...

Monday 6 February 2012

OM is where the heart is

OM...AUM 


Sit tall. Connect & surrender to the earth.  Softly close your eyes.  Watch your breath. 


Breathe it in...breathe it out


Breathe it in through your heart centre, anahata, in the centre of your chest 


this primal sound, filled with love, bringing you strength, warmth, healing, patience 


let it gift you that which you need most in this moment


Breathe it out


this sacred sound, filled with compassion, imbuing you with tranquillity, carrying your love, good will, cleansing you of tension, anxiety, any stress or strain let go and carried away on waves of sound, leaving behind a deepening sense of calm & well being with each utterance


let it carry to others that which you most wish for them in this moment


Inhale OM...Exhale OM...silent or joyful, quiet or loud let the sound fill your being


Breathe



Sunday 5 February 2012

Meditation for abundance

On those days when there just doesn't seem to be enough of anything and all is doom & gloom it's not a bad idea to think on the old adage "Count your blessings".  Try this simple meditation:

Sit comfortably on a chair, or kneeling, or cross legged.  Take a moment to connect to the earth & ground yourself through you feet, your sitting bones, the root of your spine.  Inhale & take your breath up your spine, let your in breath remind you to lift your crown skywards and lengthen your spine, feel taller, feel grounded at your tailbone and light through the rest of your spine.  Exhale and bring your breath back down your spine and through the root of your spine into the earth.  Watch your natural breathing rhythm & be aware of each inhalation and each exhalation.  After a moment or two, begin to gently deepen & slow your breath, no force or strain, simply breathe as slowly & as deeply as is comfortable.  If you feel any discomfort, allow your breath to find its own rhythm again.

As you breathe begin to work through the alphabet and name someone or something in your life for which you are grateful.  Try to let it be the first thing that springs to mind.

Here is mine for today...

A - apples (not least for good old fashioned scrumpy ;D)
B - Bill
C - cold but sunny days
D - Donna
E - elephant song (I love elephants)
F - friends & family
G - good food
H - happy dancing
I - India...home of yoga!
J - Joe
K - Kissing my gorgeous husband (I'll pass you the bucket in a moment...)
L - Lee
M - my amazing Mum
N - Noor
O - orange juice in the morning
P - pebbles with holes in them
Q - questions that small children ask
R - roses, the old fashioned scented kind that conjure up my great grandad Jack
S - snowflakes
T - Thursdays
U - Uttanasana
V - Virasana
W - water
X - xylophones!
Y - Yoga
Z - zooplankton

When you get to the end of the list you should feel like you have an abundance of good things in your life. Enjoy!